Yesterday morning I played the organ at the funeral of a complete stranger. The person who passed away was the brother of a woman in my ward whom I'm only slightly acquainted with, and the only reason I was playing the organ was because a member of the bishopric approached me the day before and asked me to.
What a strange and interesting experience to attend the funeral of someone you've never met. I came away half-wondering if this man had any faults at all. It struck me that at funerals, all of the deceased's strengths and talents are brought to the forefront (as they should be at a funeral) and in the minds of the mourners, that person becomes exceptionally kind and smart and talented and good, possibly even more so than they had been in real life.
I'm not expressing any doubt that this man whose funeral I attended really was kind and smart and talented and good. I was actually really impressed with the anecdotes and accounts I heard. But I'm a little bit interested in the generous light in which people's lives and characters are portrayed at funerals, and I'm wondering how differently we would see the people around us if we could attend a "funeral" for them and hear their good qualities emphasized, and listen to stories about the great and wonderful things they had done. Even the Averagest of Average Joes would sound like a hero and a saint.
What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?
I noticed this too as I attended a funeral of a man who fell quite short of church standards. People even went as far to say that though he was adulterous, they were sure they would be together forever in heaven. There has to be a balance between canonizing someone and laying out all their faults, right?
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts LaChelle. I never thought of this before but it's true. Maybe it comforts people to say what they never said to the person when they were alive. I'm sure there are cases where the truth is exaggerated, but I can't imagine going to a funeral where the speakers talk about the bad qualities of the deceased person. Sometimes I think about what I want to be remembered by when I am gone and try to be that person. And other times I if it were the last time I would see someone what would I want to say.
ReplyDeleteNow you have me singing that song...where is thy victory!
ReplyDeleteSomeday when I die everyone will say how perfect and wonderful I am...And they better not forget humble too. ^_^
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